Uwe Boll. The name sends chills down the spines of serious
cineastes--or at least he really bugs moviegoers. Despite howls of protest;
despite internet petitions--and despite literally fighting with one of his
critics--Boll keeps right on directing movies, like a deranged Energizer
Bunny that simply will not stop. His latest epic, In The Name Of The King: A
Dungeon Siege Tale, is based on the popular role playing game (maybe that’s the
secret to Boll’s power: he always seems to make movies based on games),
and it’s actually a step up from his more recent productions. The first thing
the viewer notices is that ITNOTK:ADST (which must win some kind of award for
having an acronym that’s longer than its name) has a far bigger budget than any
of Boll’s previous films--and this grants him a better cast of actors to work
with.
Jason Stratham stars as the hero who changed his name to Farmer when he got a
farm, because he believes people should take the name of their jobs--which is
lucky for him that he didn’t get into the fertilizer business. The quaint little
kingdom that Farmer dwells in is attacked by Krugs, a race of Orc-like
monster-people who are controlled by Ray Liotta. Ray’s busy doing his best Elvis
impersonation (the chunky, late-1970s Viva Las Vegas Elvis) while playing a
seedy sorcerer who sucking the face of poor Leelee Sobieski when he’s not
plotting his rise to power. Liotta’s normally a good actor, but I just don’t buy
him here as an evil magician--I keep expecting him to start speaking directly at
the camera, as he did in Good Fellas, and explain to us that he took this gig
mainly because he needed the money.
A really tired looking Burt Reynolds stars as the king, and all I can say about
his performance is this: thank God for the closed captions, because Burt mumbles
his way through his scenes so badly that I defy anybody with the best hearing in
the world to try and decipher what he says. John Rhys Davies is good as the king’s
magician; the always-great Ron Pearlman is fun to watch as Norick, Farmer’s
mentor, and Claire Forlani is well-cast as, literally, the farmer’s wife.
Kristanna Loken, who starred in Boll’s Bloodrayne, also appears here as the
leader of the swirling wood nymphs. Either she’s very loyal, or is a glutton for punishment--take your pick.
Clocking in at just over two hours, ITNOTK:ADST feels very overlong, thanks to
slow pacing, as well as a badly written script that apes The Lord Of The Rings
in every manner it can. It’s not a total turkey, thanks to its high production
values and good cast of solid actors. But the film quickly loses its focus--the
epic battle scenes just ramble on and on--and without any creative clarity, it’s
hard for the viewer to maintain interest. Still, compared to his recent
films--such as House Of The Dead, which I found unwatchable--ITNOTK:ADST feels
like an improvement. And for Uwe Boll, that’s saying something! If you must see
this, keep your finger poised over the fast-forward button--or, better yet, if
you have a yen to see epic fantasy, give the far superior The Lord Of The Rings
a try.
--SF
Main Review Page | Fantasy Reviews |Email Me |Buy This DVD Here!
