Beautiful Creatures
Five Stars (out of five)
2001. Released by Universal Studios. Running time 89 minutes. Rated R for Language and violence. Has English Subtitles for the deaf and hard of hearing. DVD set has very basic special features, with text information on the cast and production. There's no commetaries.

This is just like one of those crime thriller movies, where they...wait, this IS one of those crime thriller movies! While riding a train, Dorothy (Susan Lynch) gets into a spat with her boyfriend Tony (Ian Glen) over the whereabouts of a set of golf clubs that he had brought home. Tony is really, really desperate to know what Dorothy did with his precious golf clubs--so much so that he turns violent and tries to attack her right on the train. When the conductor tries to stop the fight, Tony slugs him one right in the face. After hiding in a bathroom aboard the train until Tony has left, Dorothy returns home to find Tony has trashed the place and has painted Pluto, her beloved snow white dog, a bright shade of pink. Taking as much as she can from her abusive, junkie boyfriend, Dorothy decides to take Pluto and leave Glasgow--and Ian--for good.

You find the strangest things in a golf bag.... Yet just when Dorothy’s about to board the bus for London, Pluto races off into the night, forcing her to chase after him. Catching up the Pluto, Dorothy has stumbled onto Petula (Rachel Weisz) being violently assaulted by her boyfriend Brian in an alleyway. In an attempt to save Petula’s life, Dorothy whacks Brian over the head with a massive pipe. One thing leads to another, and soon Brian winds up dead in Dorothy’s bathroom. The sensible Dorothy and the flighty Petula band together to cover up their involvement in Brian’s death. But that’s easier said than done...especially when Dorothy gets an idea on how they could make a few bucks off this situation.

I must say, the Mummy movies were never this hairy! Like the best thrillers, Beautiful Creatures becomes more and more complicated as the machinations build up. But unlike most thrillers, BC is also very funny, and it gets even funnier as it goes on, as well. The chemistry between Weisz and Lynch is marvelous, and Simon Donald’s crisp and witty script gets you on these girls’ side very quickly. Bill Eagles--who directed for the first time here--has an assured hand as he makes sure the comedy flows from the realistic situations, yet still leaves some room for slapstick, especially at the end. Beautiful Creatures manages to be both funny and suspenseful while still making a wry commentary on the role of a woman in the classic hard-boiled crime thriller--at the same time, turning this genre on its ear.

I'll cut ya! Y'hear me?! I'll cut ya! The city of Glasgow, Scotland serves very well as the locale for the shady dealings and double crossing that Petula and Dorothy must undergo. There’s no commentaries, and the special features are pretty slim--with just text information on the actors that you read--but the film itself is well worth owning. If you enjoy the sort of off-kilter crime thrillers that are spiced with comedy--like Quentin Tarantino’s films and the movie Out Of Sight--then you’ll like Beautiful Creatures. The antics of Dorothy, Petula and Pluto the dog are well worth watching over and over again. --SF


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